Welcome to the third round of the first bracket of Lord Myk’s Movie Kombat, called so because I’m pitting my DVD collection against itself to see what my favorite movie is! Movies at the store are already getting wind of it, ejecting themselves off the shelves to attack me or hide! One one side, we have the sequel to The Abominable Dr. Phibes!
Dr. Phibes Rises Again, which takes place three years after the first movie but was released only a year later, sees Dr. Phibes (still played by Vincent Price) attempting to take his dead wife Victoria to Egypt in order to find a mystical River of Life which will restore her and grant them both eternal life. Vulvania is also there, her fate in the previous movie ignored and her origins largely unexplored. Instead of using murder as a means towards revenge, Phibes is instead using it to remove all the obstacles which get in his way. He’s still as charmingly theatrical as ever, already having a hidden lair set up in Egypt and having all sorts of tools to show those fools why they shouldn’t get in his way. Inspector Trout’s also back from the first movie, chasing Phibes with his boss and offering comic relief.
The major obstacle is a man named Biederbeck who also seeks the River of Life in order to elongate his own unnatural existence, as it’s revealed throughout the film that Biederbeck is hundreds of years old and has been using an elixir to keep himself going. The man is so driven by his quest that he ignores all the other people in his life, such as his girlfriend Diana, and Phibes takes him to task for this at the climax of the film, after which the good doctor and his coffin-bound corpse-wife drift down an underground river while Phibes sings “Over the Rainbow” and Biederbeck, deprived of the life-giving water, ages rapidly.
This film is certainly not as good as the first, but it still has plenty of good moments. It’s also interesting that while Phibes does kill plenty of people over the course of the two movies, he’s almost sympathetic while he does so since he’s driven not by a lust for money or power, but simply to avenge (and later restore) the love of his life. In some alternate universe we might have gotten more films starring Phibes, in which he goes up against eccentric semi-mortals whose goals are less pure than his own.
QUICK BITS
MOVIE: Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1971)
PRIOR KNOWLEDGE: The B-Masters Cabal
OBTAINED: Best Buy
WATCHED BEFORE: Yes
WATCHED WITH: Alone
GOOD/BAD/MEH: Good
On the other side, we have Brandon Lee’s second film and what appears to the first film featured in this series that’s been on RiffTrax:
Laser Mission is a film born for afternoons on basic cable, and my copy is on a two-pack with Abraxas which I purchased from Wal-Mart for one dollar, meaning that my viewing experience was more like watching something taped off TV rather than any sort of DVD experience. It was, perhaps, the most appropriate way to watch the movie which is an action movie so by-the-books that it features Germanic bad guys and a random ninja showing up. The plot is that Brandon Lee’s Michael Gold has been hired by the United States government to get a laser scientist named Professor Braun on their side. During their meeting, Gold is knocked out and Braun is captured, so Gold has to go get him back with the help of the scientist’s daughter, Alissa. There’s lots of chase sequences, some gunplay, and a few explosions before everything is done.
The surprising thing about the movie is that it’s not that bad. It’s not the best action movie you’ve ever seen, but the cast manages to overcome the script and it’s enjoyable to watch them interact with each other. Lee definitely shows off his acting and action talents, and most of the rest of the cast does the most with what they’ve been given. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the film’s theme, “Mercenary Man”, which was an alternate title for the film, and plays several times during the film but should not have been.
QUICK BITS
MOVIE: Laser Mission (1989)
PRIOR KNOWLEDGE: The Internet, maybe?
OBTAINED: Wal-Mart
WATCHED BEFORE: Yes
WATCHED WITH: Alone
GOOD/BAD/MEH: Meh
3… 2… 1… FIGHT!
Dr. Phibes Rises Again immediately gets some points for Vincent Price, who elevates every project he’s involved with, and being the sequel to one of my favorite horror movies. Laser Mission gains some ground since it has some more interesting scenery, including one scene which takes place at a zoo or something, but both movies also have incredibly long sequences in which there’s nothing but sand. Walking on sand, driving on sand, riding horses on sand, killing people on sand, sand, sand, sand. Why is there so much sand?
The films both feature women whom are given a fair amount to do, with Laser Mission‘s Alissa being able to hold her own almost as well as Gold and Phibes‘ Vulvania performing her duties perfectly and then retreating to a weird mirror tube or… something. It’s mysterious and the closest thing we get to any explanation as to who or what she was. Phibes does have better comic relief, but this is because the comic relief in Laser Mission comes from two Cuban soldiers who start off fine and are generally all right until one of them discovers the other is a woman. The woman, who is also his commanding officer, then has to deal with her subordinate constantly telling her that she shouldn’t be doing physically strenuous things because she’s a woman. It gets old quite quickly.
At this point, Phibes is far ahead, but then we have to acknowledge that Laser Mission‘s Braun is played by Ernest Borgnine, who is pretty good. You know who’s better, though? Peter Cushing, who only shows up in a few scenes in Dr. Phibes Rises Again, but he’s there. That gives Dr. Phibes Rises Again the edge it didn’t really need, and Laser Mission goes down.
Next time’s a battle of aliens and weird pregnancies as we watch Alien and Enemy Mine go toe-to-toe.
Dr. Phibes Rises Again, which takes place three years after the first movie but was released only a year later, sees Dr. Phibes (still played by Vincent Price) attempting to take his dead wife Victoria to Egypt in order to find a mystical River of Life which will restore her and grant them both eternal life. Vulvania is also there, her fate in the previous movie ignored and her origins largely unexplored. Instead of using murder as a means towards revenge, Phibes is instead using it to remove all the obstacles which get in his way. He’s still as charmingly theatrical as ever, already having a hidden lair set up in Egypt and having all sorts of tools to show those fools why they shouldn’t get in his way. Inspector Trout’s also back from the first movie, chasing Phibes with his boss and offering comic relief.
The major obstacle is a man named Biederbeck who also seeks the River of Life in order to elongate his own unnatural existence, as it’s revealed throughout the film that Biederbeck is hundreds of years old and has been using an elixir to keep himself going. The man is so driven by his quest that he ignores all the other people in his life, such as his girlfriend Diana, and Phibes takes him to task for this at the climax of the film, after which the good doctor and his coffin-bound corpse-wife drift down an underground river while Phibes sings “Over the Rainbow” and Biederbeck, deprived of the life-giving water, ages rapidly.
This film is certainly not as good as the first, but it still has plenty of good moments. It’s also interesting that while Phibes does kill plenty of people over the course of the two movies, he’s almost sympathetic while he does so since he’s driven not by a lust for money or power, but simply to avenge (and later restore) the love of his life. In some alternate universe we might have gotten more films starring Phibes, in which he goes up against eccentric semi-mortals whose goals are less pure than his own.
QUICK BITS
MOVIE: Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1971)
PRIOR KNOWLEDGE: The B-Masters Cabal
OBTAINED: Best Buy
WATCHED BEFORE: Yes
WATCHED WITH: Alone
GOOD/BAD/MEH: Good
On the other side, we have Brandon Lee’s second film and what appears to the first film featured in this series that’s been on RiffTrax:
Laser Mission is a film born for afternoons on basic cable, and my copy is on a two-pack with Abraxas which I purchased from Wal-Mart for one dollar, meaning that my viewing experience was more like watching something taped off TV rather than any sort of DVD experience. It was, perhaps, the most appropriate way to watch the movie which is an action movie so by-the-books that it features Germanic bad guys and a random ninja showing up. The plot is that Brandon Lee’s Michael Gold has been hired by the United States government to get a laser scientist named Professor Braun on their side. During their meeting, Gold is knocked out and Braun is captured, so Gold has to go get him back with the help of the scientist’s daughter, Alissa. There’s lots of chase sequences, some gunplay, and a few explosions before everything is done.
The surprising thing about the movie is that it’s not that bad. It’s not the best action movie you’ve ever seen, but the cast manages to overcome the script and it’s enjoyable to watch them interact with each other. Lee definitely shows off his acting and action talents, and most of the rest of the cast does the most with what they’ve been given. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the film’s theme, “Mercenary Man”, which was an alternate title for the film, and plays several times during the film but should not have been.
QUICK BITS
MOVIE: Laser Mission (1989)
PRIOR KNOWLEDGE: The Internet, maybe?
OBTAINED: Wal-Mart
WATCHED BEFORE: Yes
WATCHED WITH: Alone
GOOD/BAD/MEH: Meh
3… 2… 1… FIGHT!
Dr. Phibes Rises Again immediately gets some points for Vincent Price, who elevates every project he’s involved with, and being the sequel to one of my favorite horror movies. Laser Mission gains some ground since it has some more interesting scenery, including one scene which takes place at a zoo or something, but both movies also have incredibly long sequences in which there’s nothing but sand. Walking on sand, driving on sand, riding horses on sand, killing people on sand, sand, sand, sand. Why is there so much sand?
The films both feature women whom are given a fair amount to do, with Laser Mission‘s Alissa being able to hold her own almost as well as Gold and Phibes‘ Vulvania performing her duties perfectly and then retreating to a weird mirror tube or… something. It’s mysterious and the closest thing we get to any explanation as to who or what she was. Phibes does have better comic relief, but this is because the comic relief in Laser Mission comes from two Cuban soldiers who start off fine and are generally all right until one of them discovers the other is a woman. The woman, who is also his commanding officer, then has to deal with her subordinate constantly telling her that she shouldn’t be doing physically strenuous things because she’s a woman. It gets old quite quickly.
At this point, Phibes is far ahead, but then we have to acknowledge that Laser Mission‘s Braun is played by Ernest Borgnine, who is pretty good. You know who’s better, though? Peter Cushing, who only shows up in a few scenes in Dr. Phibes Rises Again, but he’s there. That gives Dr. Phibes Rises Again the edge it didn’t really need, and Laser Mission goes down.
Next time’s a battle of aliens and weird pregnancies as we watch Alien and Enemy Mine go toe-to-toe.